During this time, there have been other friends I have visited in the hospital.  I see family members with them and I see them alone.  As I walk past the different rooms, I notice if a patient is there or not.  I notice if the bed is made and waiting to help a new person or if it is messy from a patient leaving for a procedure and waiting for them to return for rest and more care. 

As I have gone to the hospital frequently, I have learned some life lessons too.  I have learned to smile and laugh amid adversity.  I have learned that we can “find the silver lining” in the struggles of our life.  I have learned that sleep can help you feel better.  I have learned that friends make your burdens easier to bear.

Mostly, though, my experience has taught me, once again, the enormous value of friendship.  It seems that there are people we are meant to have as our friends.  Friendship connects us like families.  We learn together.  We grow together and we help each other.  The other day, I shared with my friend who is sick how she has helped me.  She was unaware of the strength and support I feel from visiting with her and her family. 

Friends see the best in us.  They help us with our struggles and trials.  We help our friends through their struggles and trials.  I like to think that a friend is our cheerleader:  the person who constantly believes in us and that we can make it.  And even when we fail, our friend helps us to succeed again with encouragement and love.  A friend sees past the exterior and looks deep within our hearts and understands what we feel.  A friend asks how he or she can help and doesn’t assume that they know what is best for us.  A friend is a precious gift.

So, I watch my friend’s daughters as they stroke the hand of their mother, as they rub lotion on her arms and shoulders, and as they look at her with love.  What an honor it is to share these moments, as well as the moments when she lights up as her husband enters the room.  How grateful I am for this gift called friendship.

How will you strengthen a friend today?

(Isn’t that the way it always is?)

I am boldly (and sometimes not-so-boldly) going where this Marta has never gone before…but luckily, someone else has. That doesn’t make it easy, but I’m not alone; not only do I have the guidance of those before me, but I have the support of those around me and the faith of those behind me. Thus armed, I go forth into the greatest adventure I will ever face — territory so uncharted it hasn’t even been created yet: my own future. Wish me luck! I wish you the same as you create and explore your own adventures!

Last week, my husband and I stopped for breakfast at Cracker Barrel. On the way out, I saw a t-shirt that said “Chocolate is the answer, it doesn’t matter what the question is!” This caught my attention because I am reading a book by Wendy Watson Nelson entitled Change Your Questions, Change Your Life.(You can find it at http://www.deseretbook.com.) This book is all about the questions we ask ourselves. One of the activities is to pay attention to the questions you routinely ask yourself. Write down the questions and see if they empower you or tear you down.

I have done this exercise and found that I ask myself few questions, but I am great at giving myself statements. The questions I sometimes ask open the door for self-doubt. So, I have been paying close attention to those questions and statements and banning them from my thought process.

I am also more aware of the questions I ask my family members. Are my questions empowering: “What will you do to comfort yourself?” Or are they demeaning: “How many times do I have to ask you to do this?” I am putting forth great effort to change the questions I ask my family and friends. I want to empower them and to help them to empower themselves.

I asked the first question to a friend on the phone yesterday. She has been through some devastating circumstances in the last year or so. As we spoke on the phone, I wanted to reach through and give her a hug. She told me that one of her precious pets was sick and had to be put down later that afternoon. I know of some of her struggles. I know how she loves her animals, and her dog had been her companion for a long, long time. I wanted to help her. So, I asked about her plans for the evening. And then the question came to my mind. It was one of those moments when you know that Heavenly Father gave you words to help someone else. I asked, “What will you do to comfort yourself?” She stopped for a moment and thought about it. Then responded that she would be with her other animals and they would comfort her.

Questions are powerful. Questions can spur us on to victory or lead us down the path to defeat.

Is chocolate the answer no matter the question? Sometimes it is. And the questions we ask and how we phrase them can lead us to enlightening answers that will guide us on the empowering path. What questions will you ask yourself today? How will you empower others with your questions?

I marvel at the lessons God has given to us during these difficult times. I think of them as gifts of love. I am amazed at the many miracles He has created to share His love with us.

One of the great gifts of love he gives is friendship. In the last two weeks, I found that friendship and love can remain with us without frequent contact and I am awed by the amount of love that I can feel. I felt the strength of sustaining prayers. I felt the concern of others. I was literally enveloped in the arms of love.

I wish, sometimes, that life was not so hard. But how else can we learn the lessons so that we can grow to be more like God? I am grateful for the strength of my children and my husband through our experiences in the past year. How marvelous and great are the many bounteous blessings of our God in our lives.

I want to share one experience of the many great gifts given to our family. Last Thursday afternoon, after an especially long and trying day, my friend and I were going to visit someone who is sick. She was unable to see us and so my friend said that we could go for a ride. We did.

We decided to go shopping because she needed a new wallet. We went only in two stores. The second store, she found the wallet she wanted and I decided to buy one for me. My friend decided to give the wallet to me as a gift. I hesitated, but decided to be a gracious recipient.

I put the wallet in my bag and carried it around for a few days. Tuesday, I had a doctor’s appointment and I placed the check to pay the doctor in the new wallet. When I pulled it out to pay the doctor, I felt a sense of newness. I needed to have things that were new. I needed to get rid of the things that reminded me of my old life and start fresh. I hadn’t realized that such a small thing, a wallet, would help me move forward. It did. And each time I see it or touch it, I think of my dear sweet friend, who has been my strength over many years. Thank you, DeAnne. Thank you for understanding and loving me.

There are so many people who remain nameless right now, but someday, we will feel free to share their names and their gifts to us during our trials. I thank you too.

How can you show your love to a friend today?

It is the little things in life that help us along our way. I have read the blogs about empowering us to become better people, mothers, nurturers, sisters, etc. and thought I have little to nothing to contribute and have been putting off blogging as requested by the ladies who initiated this site. Then I stopped at a fast food restaurant on a busy day from running errands, feeling a bit frazzled. As I got my meal and sat down I saw a woman come in who looked more frazzled than I did. As she got her meal and looked for a seat our eyes met and I smiled at her. She seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and sat a couple of tables from me, but facing me. We both ate in a silent companionship, strangers yet somehow acquaintances. As I finished my meal and prepared to go my way, she hesitantly spoke, very softly like she was afraid someone might hear her. She thanked me for smiling at her. She told me she had had a very trying morning and my smile brought her reassurance and comfort. It was a little thing and I don’t know who this sister of ours was, but it made me feel good to hear I had helped bring her comfort in a trying time. I left the restaurant with a lighter step and a smile in my heart. So sisters, smile as you go about your day, you never know who may be watching and needing that smile.

Thanks Mary Lynn for helping to create this venue. It was inspired.

Steph

Yesterday was a particularly hard day for me.  Yet, I was surrounded by my friends, my family and people who care about me.  Even those who were far away were praying for us.  I felt the strength that comes from prayers others offered in my behalf.  The day was hard, but the support of my friends made it possible for me to have the strength and the courage I needed.  I will be forever grateful to those beautiful people in my life.

Best of all, friends become a part of our family.  Some, like sisters, are kin by blood and also by friendship. We love them and want to share in their lives too. How blessed we are to have wonderful friends. My mom always told me to be careful who I chose to be my friends. I am glad I followed her counsel. I have the best friends in the world!

How can you share your love with a friend today?

I have been thinking a lot about what I would say today. The words which come into my mind are “thank you.” I cannot think of anything more profound or important to say than “thank you.”
My heart is full to overflowing with gratitude for the love, comfort and help we have been given recently.

As we have gone through this experience, I have been awed and amazed at how many friends we have; amazed at how we can be connected with people from far away, not having kept in daily contact, but still have the same love and attachment that we felt years ago. We are family. We are one, big, gigantic family. We are the family of God.

I hope I remember always that we are brothers and sisters. I actually don’t think I ever forgot it; I just didn’t always pay enough attention to the connection which occurs at each of our births. But now, my eyes are wide open, and I am fully awake. So, I won’t write a long blog. After a while, you will understand our experience because I believe we have to share our experiences with each other so that others can benefit from our mistakes and benefit from the growth we experience as a result of learning from those mistakes.

I also want to express my gratitude for a loving Father in Heaven who takes good care of us. Without Him in my life, I don’t know how I would be able to look forward and keep moving in that direction.

Our family has been strengthened. We have reopened doors wide to reconnect with the people we love. Thank you to each of our family members and friends who have supported and sustained us. You have empowered us to continue and to fight, even when we were too tired to go on. Your encouragement and your love nourish us daily. Thank you.

How can we help to sustain and support you?

And what I have discovered through all of this is that I have an amazing support system that is way better, way stronger, and way bigger than I ever thought existed. People have come into my life and been there for me in the most astounding of ways. The hand of God has been in my life every day.

This week has been one of the most amazing weeks of my life.

There are joyous things about moving, too. Reminiscing about all the people we have met with and loved in this space and time. This is a chapter in the book of life we are closing, but we get to open a new chapter, a new place, new people to meet, new friends to get acquainted with, and a new space to get used to.

At the end of the year, we get to do this with the past year we have lived. We get to reminisce and remember all the things we have learned during that year. We can reflect on how we have grown; how we have gotten through trials, with Heavenly Father’s help, we didn’t think we could ever endure; changes made to bring our life back into balance, the people we have met, new family members, trips, and just quiet reflection about how we are better because of these experiences.

We also get to look forward to a new year. A new year filled with possibilities. There will be more changes, exciting things to look forward, to help us grow and progress. We are empowered to be a little bit kinder, a little more loving, a little more prepared or whatever it is we decide to be.

Yesterday, my grandson came by the office. He is a year and a half. His grandfather walked with him and then, after a while, he was on the floor. Grandpa made a phone call and Hyrum followed him into the now, mostly empty conference room. There were still two chairs. Grandpa was sitting in one and Hyrum climbed into the other. He mimicked the position his grandpa was sitting. I called to my daughter to get a picture. This picture will be a memory of this experience.

The experience with the chairs reminded me that no matter what changes we go through, we have our family to go through them with us. We are never alone. We have friends who love and support us. We have each other.

Now, I’ve never been one to experiment with alternative flour ingredients and wouldn’t have changed except for one thing that changed in reference to me. A few weeks ago my mom found out that she is allergic to what, at the time, seemed to be almost everything…eggs, wheat, dairy, pineapple, red grapes, asparagus, just to name a few. Cutting out these major ingredients from her diet has been difficult for her. She has chosen to stick with it despite the challenge of finding things that fit in the non-allergic category. I know that if I were allergic to all these things, I would be saddest not to be able to enjoy the yummy sweets that are everywhere this time of year.

On Sunday afternoon she asked if I could make her a pumpkin pie using coconut milk. It would’ve been perfect except for one thing: I haven’t learned to substitute eggs yet. She was sad until we came up with something that might just work. I was hesitant to try it…

I grabbed the ingredients that had the most potential to work. I didn’t know how it would taste, I didn’t know if we could even choke it down,  it was a labor of love that I hoped would work. Wishing, hoping, praying and waiting I mixed together everything I had and popped the desert into the oven. I still wasn’t sure how things would turn out,but I loved mom and gave it all I had for her sake.

The apple crisp came out of the oven and soon made its way into the bowls. I had left to go visit a friend and came back to my oldest sister and mom ooing and awwing over something yummy. To my honest surprise it was my crisp they were savoring. Could it be possible? Had this totally spontaneous effort actually yielded edible results?

I have learned that the taste of love can bring together all sorts of flavors in our lives. Whether or not the recipe turns out how we expect it to, if we make it with love, we can count on it meaning something more than what we might find in the average cookbook. 

What loving creations of life will you cook up today?