So yes, it is this high paced society that most of us find our place in today. If you do not have some sort of big thing that you are working on or toward at the moment, chances are, that is going to change really soon. Many of us have jobs or are looking for one (which in itself can be a full-time job), many of us are in school or some sort of a structured learning endeavor, many of us have families to take care of, communities that we are involved in, responsibilities in our churches, goals to help others through service, just to mention a few things that occupy our time. I know for me, it seems overwhelming, especially when I hit a crossroads where something I have been doing ends and I am about to dive in head first in the next big thing.

Being able to organize my time and stay focused has been, and still is, what makes or breaks what I am working toward. Having a positive attitude has become everything. When I let myself get worried or overstressed I have more problems. However when I choose to swim rather than sink, to do something rather than just let something happen, to act and not be acted upon by any other source, that is when I get things done. I have discovered through experience that when we make a choice to be easygoing things go easier. Like in the words of one of my favorite songs, “Live Like We’re Dying” by Kris Allen, “We’ve only got 86 400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or to throw it all away.”

Which are you gonna choose?

An accountability partner helps you achieve your goals and keeps you following your plan. Most of the time, we call them friends. A true friend can ask you all about your life and can help you stay with your goals. I love accountability partners!

I’ve noticed that sometimes, we don’t categorize goals as goals. It is a goal for a mother to have her children ready for school with homework done, lunches made and backpacks packed and ready to go. Did you ever think of getting ready for school each day as a goal? What about preparing meals, visiting with friends, play groups, etc.? You get the idea. We each accomplish goals every day. Keeping a list of those goals accomplished will help you understand and feel that you are successful. Hey! Then, you become your own accountability partner.

Professional businesses pay for accountability partners because someone to keep you on track is worth the financial compensation. Wait a minute, isn’t that what mothers do for their children all the time for free?

I have been thinking a bunch about inter-generational connections lately.  We are bound to the past by our personal history, and we are bound to the future by the legacy we leave.  So I pose this question again, “What about now?”

What are you doing today to strengthen yourself…to empower your children…to build upon the legacy left by those who have gone before…to live the life you were born to live…?  (I guess I’m still thinking of “Climb Every Mountain”…LOL!)

I have myriad thoughts running through my mind on a given day about what to do, who to reach out to, how to bless my children, how to build a stronger relationship with my husband.  Sometimes these moments are moments that cause stress; other times I feel empowered by the life I have been given and the responsibilities in my hands.

So, for now, I will try to be a little better, a little more patient, a little better prepared, and a little bit calmer.  I will work now to make the plans for my future that will be stepping stones to reach my goals.  I will live in the present and make the most of each day–NOW.

How about you?  Will you join me?

There are things that you see;
Other things you feel.
Feelings can’t be seen, yet we never doubt they are real.
When you search for the truth, don’t just use your eyes.
Look inside yourself: that is where the truth always lies.
Where knowledge ends, faith begins, and it shines like a star
Till your heart fills with hope and with love.

From the day that we’re born, we start asking why.
There is more to life, more than it would seem meets the eye.
When you’ve learned all you can, there’s still more to know–
Things you can not prove, so you just believe they are so.
Where knowledge ends, faith begins, and it shines like a star
Till your heart fills with hope and with love.

I love this because it talks about how limited our empirical senses are, and it alludes to how endless the amount of knowledge in this universe is…and how some of the most important things we will ever learn will come from within ourselves.
I talked to a good friend recently about how much we’re learning in our lives. Yes, we’re both at different stages of formal education, but it wasn’t just academics we were talking about. We mentioned different lessons we’ve learned through our many experiences. We talked about our opinions, and why we feel the way we do about things. We talked about the women we are, and the women we hope to become…and are becoming.
I love learning. And I love that some of my most powerful learning comes not from books, but from introspection.
She (the singer) finishes her song by singing: “I have looked in your heart; I have faith in you.” I have faith in me, that I will be able to learn all I need to, even when it seems my mind and heart and soul can’t hold any more knowledge, and that I can take what I know and use it to help other people; and I have faith in you, that you can do the same.

He told them with such conviction it made my insides shake just to think about it. There was no room in that practice speech for talk of failure. There was no place for doubt or laziness or quitting. No giving up, no giving in, no reason to not make it to the very top. I watched the team as they began to soak in the words of their coach and began thinking to myself about how true this is to life. We are here to win everything. There is no reason why we can not shoot for that. There is no excuse for not doing the very best that we can and making it to the top in everything we aspire to become. There should be no room within ourselves for talk of failure or place in our lives for giving up on our dreams.

That day on the field I heard from the coach some very profound words that chisel away doubt inside of me and remind me of one very important thing. We are in this to win everything! Let’s go out there and do it!

This morning, as I was trying to decide how I felt, I turned on the tv for company. My daughter had to be at school at 4:45 a.m. and my son has a church class at 5:45 a.m. (This is one of the many times I am thankful for a good husband who carries more than his share of the load.) As I scanned the channels, I stopped on a program called “Power of Attitude” taught by Dr. Dale Henry. I love listening to his perspectives. He mixes humor and his real life experiences to teach us life lessons. One of the educational channels frequently carries programs he has recorded.

This morning, he talked about how we can change our attitudes. I have frequent migraine headaches and I find that I have to pay attention to my attitude when I am in a headache cycle. This one seems to be caused by the weather. So, as a good student, I decided to take a walk down memory lane and look at the things we did accomplish.

The most important thing that happened was a wonderful family activity where we travelled back in time together. We spent time getting to know each other and supporting each other in our new adventures lying ahead. Most of all, we just loved each other.

Time together is empowering. I spoke with my oldest daughter recently about the calm that has come to her children as a result of our time together. We all feel empowered to “slay the dragons” (the boys will like this phrase) or climb the mountains of our lives when our families stick together, support and love each other.

Last week, my sister had all of us over after church. Her oldest son had just returned from serving a mission for two years. It was a glorious reunion! We were blessed as we talked, and laughed and cried tears of joy. I was empowered by the thought my sister gave to me as I left her home.

She told me that she thought of me as she was reading a scripture about hope. She said that I always say, “things will get better after we get through _____(fill in the blank).” How right she is! But, I had never thought about my being hopeful. She pointed that out to me. Thanks Suz. Thanks to my family for empowering me. How grateful I am for family and friends.

See, when we look for the positive instead of the negative, we are empowered.

This morning, I made breakfast cookies.  My mother called me last week amongst my fretting and pondering of what to feed my crew.  She said, “King Arthur Flour just sent me this recipe for breakfast cookies.  Do you want the recipe?”  Did I ever!!!  Anyone who knows me knows I am all over cookies!!!  Huzzah!!!  And healthy cookies–even better!  For mine, I modified the recipe a bit–I ground my own white wheat this morning (so the vitamins would be fresh) & substituted wheat bran for the Hi-Maze Fiber stuff.  I added chocolate chips and a multi-grain mix for my add-ins–and, HOORAY!!!  Three cheers for breakfast cookies!!! 

Even more enjoyable than trying a new recipe and it working well was visiting among friends.  I loved how we all support each other and how we help each other.  Several moms have children of varrying ages–from preschool to college–and I always appreciate hearing their advice on experiences to come.  The wisdom they share is comforting and empowering…which leads me to what I really wanted to share on this fine Monday (besides that cookie recipe!!), and that is that when you empower a woman, you empower a generation.  You see, women take what they learn, then they ponder it, and finally they apply it.  When they apply it, they do this remarkable thing: they share it with others.  They share what they have learned with their parents, their children, their sisters or brothers, their husbands, and their friends.  HOORAY for womanhood–what a calling and responsibility we have to share with others!!!

Remember–when you empower a woman, you empower a generation!  So–what will you do today to support and empower the women in your life?  They will love you for it…and generations to come will bless your name!  HUGS!!!! 

As an adult, we also go through growth, schooling (although not always in a formal setting) and learning to accept others and love them.

I think, sometimes, that it is hardest to love ourselves. We see all the things we wish to change and we often forget to look back and see how far we have come, how much we have learned, how we have grown, and how we find it easier to love people as a result of our growth.  It is, it seems, effortless to see the negative side of things instead of looking for the positive.  We need to program ourselves to see the positive, even in the negative events in life.  We empower ourselves when we give up on the negative and focus on the positive.

In our home, we have an activity for helping to see the positive.  When anyone around us, including our family, says something negative about himself or herself, then that person must say three things that are positive about himself or herself.  The positive things must not be superficial.  An non-acceptable example is “I like the shirt I am wearing.”  Instead, it must be a positive trait, or characteristic or action.  An appropriate example is “I am a good listener.”  There are times when the person has difficulty coming up with three positive things about them.  I have, on occasion, helped to lead the person toward discovering or at least vocalizing a positive trait.  It is important to see the best in ourselves.

I have taught myself to look at the  positive outcomes during negative events in my life. Even in the midst of struggle, I have learned to look at the good, the growth, the change that has come as a part of the process. The most important thing I try to keep in mind is to have joy in the journey.

I watch my little grandson who has struggled with major health problems and even now, struggles to walk. Yet, he is so happy! He doesn’t focus on his limitations.  He finds a way to accomplish what he desires in a different way. He crawls from place to place and smiles and laughs and makes our hearts so very light.   He brings with him love, acceptance and the joy of the journey.

Life is a school. There is no clear map for us to follow.  We must find our own path.  By seeing the positive, we are able to be grateful for the growth that we are able to achieve.  We learn, we grow, we love, we accept and sometimes we are surprised that “joy cometh in the morning.”

In preparation for times when I would need to take care of my children on a more full-time basis (like when they were newborns or now like during the summer or a road trip), I have pondered the need to condition myself for this thing called mothering. I think I began preparing when I was younger, caring first for baby dolls, then for siblings or neighbor children. I would care for these children for a few hours at a time…and then, several years later, became a full-time mommy.

Caring for our first child was shocking, to say the least. Though he was called a “good baby” (what does that mean, anyway? Aren’t all babies “good?”), I still had many a sleepless night, many a tearful eye, many a swollen place on my body and many a tender place in my heart.

By the time #3 came, I was on my own relatively soon–caring for three little people full-time. I handled the joys and rigors of motherhood fairly well.

Fairly well, in fact, until I was expecting twins. Whoa. I was terrified. How could I be prepared to care for two babies at once? I tried to cultivate calm in my heart and fill my spiritual reservoir for the busy moments to come. I began planning quick meals and snacks to have the caloric intake necessary to nurse twins. And I prayed. Boy, did I pray…!

With the help of family, friends, & neighbors, I was able to find moments of joy even through such a busy time. When I got out of “survival mode,” I noticed a need surfacing to recharge, to center myself so I could adequately care for my children. I made time for meditation & peaceful moments.

Over time, the practice of mothering has helped me condition myself into a better mother. I enjoy the work I do…and am excited to think that the work I do is preparing me for even more fun…as a grandmother!!!!

Saying goodbye is often difficult. I was talking with my dear friend tonight about our children leaving for college. We decided that we want our children to grow up, but we don’t want the pain of growing with them. As I considered this, these thoughts followed:

I love my children, every one of them. I know that the best thing for them, and eventually for me, is for my children to grow up and be on their own. The growth that takes place from being in a new place, making new friends, setting up your own support systems, and taking care of yourself enlivens the soul. These growth experiences rarely come by staying in the same place.

I must say that the hardest part has been missing my child. I think about him every time I fold laundry. I feel like something is missing. I looked for some vegetables for dinner in my freezer and I found his favorite ice cream that no one is here to eat now. The most interesting loss to me, though, was to listen to someone play the piano at church. Life has been so busy preparing that there was little piano playing. Yet, when I sat waiting for church to start and was listening to the music, my eyes filled with tears because I missed my child.

It sounds very ominous and lonely. I just have been surprised by it all. After all, I have always wanted my children to be independent and self-sufficient. Haven’t I? Yes, that really was me.

So, I will share the joys of life since college. Every day, right now, I get a telephone call with some new exciting adventure. I hear about wanting to make new friends, but not crossing boundaries and being thought of as “weird” (my word). I also get the excitement of learning, learning much differently than before. Harder work, but more rewarding. I get to experience with my child the joy of knowing the right school was chosen. Today, he said that he was sure that he was making good friends.

Life is new and exciting for him, but I come home to his empty room and no one to eat his favorite ice cream. Though I feel an emptiness, this change brings joy to my heart to know that everything is going to be all right for both of us.