I always wondered, as a child, why all the heroes were men. I was an avid reader and only a few biographies were about women: Florence Nightingale, Betsy Ross, very few others. I love that my daughters have grown up with many biographies and stories about women.

Even though print was lacking, our heritage stories were not. I have talked, in a previous blog, about how the women in our family show love by cooking. We also have a heritage of strength that is passed down from generation to generation.

I loved that my Aunt Gwen and Aunt Ida would drive me down to the coast and show me where the plantation stood, where my ancestors ran the ferry, the road named after our family, where my great grandmother, after being widowed ran a store and my grandfather grew up on the second floor of the store. We went to the cemetery and read the grave markers of family members who served in the Revolutionary and Civil Wars. Even though the ones who fought were men, it was always taught to me that the women stayed home and took care of everything while the men were away. I knew that the women in our family were strong women, powerful in their ability to nurture, care for and love other people. I was taught that there was always enough to share with someone who had less; to care for others.

I learned the stories of our family history and I learned the lessons learned by the women in my family as they labored to be all that they can be. In fact, my Aunt Gwen went back and completed college after all of her children were grown.

This month is women’s history month. We empower ourselves and our daughters (and even our sons) as we teach them the stories of success from the women in our family. What stories of the women in your family can you share with your family members? We would love to hear them too!

This week, our family has the most amazing opportunity: I have met a new friend, reconnected with a neighbor, and lost myself in the service of others during a most difficult and trying time. Let me tell you about it…

Our twins wanted to go to Disney. We thought about going to celebrate their birthday. I had heard about giving a day of service and getting a day to go to Disney. What a wonderful program! (They are definitely getting a thank you note.) I felt that giving service was a great idea and I wanted our family to be a part of this experience. We can give something to help someone, and, in the process, we get to celebrate as a family.

So, my son did some research, and we went through the list of possible service opportunities. My daughter is recovering from surgery, so we needed an opportunity to serve while being at home. Conkerr Cancer had the opportunity to serve by making pillowcases for smiles. We purchased bright colored fabric, followed the directions for making the pillowcases and set out to make pillowcases for children who need to have good things in their lives.

This opportunity for service also appealed to me because our family has been through a difficult experience with a sick child last summer. Daily trips to the hospital over an hour away from home, caring for the older siblings of the sick child, just not knowing what was going on, and wanting more than anything to be able to do something to help (yet feeling the hopelessness of not being able to help), and remembering this experience all made us want to help other families with children struggling with serious diseases.

I approached my family. Everyone was in agreement. A Saturday would not work for us, so we have spent this week making pillowcases. We have learned a system, and each person in our family contributes what they can. Even the children too young to participate and get the Disney prize have been involved in our family service project. The members of our family serve as they can–before or after work, after school; they come and they go, and we work together. We have made several trips to the fabric stores and have perfected a process of cutting and sewing. Our smaller children turn and fold the pillowcases; our older children pin and cut the fabric. We had a little resistance which had to be overcome, but we have been so blessed by this project.

One of the highlights of the week was when one of my grandsons asked if we can keep making pillowcases even after we are finished with our Disney pillowcases. I had already decided that this was a cause we could keep serving. My daughter shared that we could ask the women at church to set aside a night to sew pillowcases and make a project of helping each other.

I have met Carol, the local coordinator for this project. We had a lovely phone call where we became acquainted, and now I have a new friend. I am so excited to meet her in person as I drop off the pillowcases. I have thoroughly enjoyed this experience. I will not tell you that it has been easy. It has not. We have had many problems arise, not from sewing pillowcases, but from life. Carol has been encouraging and accommodating to help us reach our goal. I discovered that a group of ladies will be meeting this Saturday to make pillowcases at a local fabric store. How blessed we are to live in a community where service is important!

All of these blessings have come to us because we said “yes” to the opportunity to serve. It started out as a way to “earn” a day at Disney, but it became a bigger, more important cause to us. I think we will even discuss it as we take our children to Disney. How grateful I am that our children and grandchildren have seen the higher purpose and want to help others. I recommend this cause to everyone. The website is www.conkerrcancer.org. Explore the site. Watch the powerpoint and see if you can help.

I encourage you to find a way to serve. It is the most rewarding experience we can have, to give back. I have wondered how the children who receive the pillowcases will feel. I hope that they understand the loving care that we have given and that they feel that someone somewhere out there is praying for them and hoping that their day is a little brighter because of a pillowcase.

How have you served someone today?

We have recently had many blogs whose titles start with the letter “c.” I thought about writing about chili. I made a pot to simmer all day because we have a cold front here. And it is delicious! Oh, I need to get back on topic…

We live in a world that constantly changes. The weather changes. What we eat for dinner changes. In our lives, our routine has been changing. Some changes are good: friends calling to check on a loved one, seeing old friends, trying a new recipe a friend recommended, making up new recipes to accommodate newly discovered food allergies. Some changes are hard: sickness, surgery, job loss, loved ones who pass away, weather changes that make you weary.

Yet, changes are all around us. It’s what we do and how we react to the changes that make the difference. I think we can learn lessons from the changes in our lives. This week, I have been working on organizing while I am homebound. It feels good to go through papers, put books back on their shelves, give away and share. I have relived memories as I sort through papers, pictures, talks given, lesson outlines for teaching and craft supplies.

The changes in our home help us feel loved and connected. We have spent more time together reading, talking and just enjoying being together. Not all of our family members have had this reprieve, but I have enjoyed the changes in my schedule. In fact, I have decided that change is good.

What change will you make to improve your life next week?

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, the day we celebrate love. We love to celebrate by making valentines with and for our children. Earlier this week, my daughter brought three of her children to my home, and we spent the afternoon making valentines for school classes. It was fun! I like to send valentines in the mail for my grandchildren. My husband always brings candy to our children. We have a lot of traditions surrounding Valentine’s Day.

I have also reflected on my marriage. We have been giving tips on Facebook and the Message Board on strengthening marriage this week. It is now more than 30 years ago that my husband and I decided to get married. We recently had dinner with several couples who had been married a long time and enjoyed the fact that, in each couple, the “how-we-met” story was remembered differently by the husband and the wife. Oh, they have many common elements, but the details are different. I love it when this happens! I think it shows how different each person is, and they still make their marriages work.

During our years of marriage, there have been so many wonderful blessings. We have our children, our grandchildren, moves, vacations, activities, times together just being with each other. There is a song that says, “If I had to choose again, I would still choose you.” That is how I feel. Even though life is not easy, I would choose my husband again.

This week, one of the marriage tips was to write down 10 things you love about your spouse. One of the things I love about my husband is his strength. We have had many trials this year, as have most of you, and I have relied on the strength of my husband, his unending faith, his constant hope that all will be well. Without his calm and his strength, I would have had much more difficulty dealing with the complications of life.

I was talking to my sister recently about marriage. I told her that I think we choose each day to stay married. We don’t consciously do this. Each morning as we look at our spouse, we choose to stay in love. We choose to work through the difficulties. We choose to work together. We choose to dream, plan, and accomplish our common goals. We choose to do things that show our love. We choose to be happy together. We choose to work on our marriage to strengthen it. It is too easy to end a marriage; we must constantly give our best efforts to nurture our marriage and family relationships.

So, my darling husband, “You’re Still the One”, I am “Happy to Be Stuck With You” and most especially, “I Would Still Choose You.” Happy Valentine’s Day!

There is a song that says “that’s what friends are for” and I have been thinking a lot lately about the importance of friends in our lives. We have social networks like Facebook (by the way the mpowergen.com has 200-fans Hurray!) to help keep us connected and to open the door to re-connecting with friends from long ago. We had a blog from Wyddeth talking about the power of the written word to keep us connected through generations. We have cell phones and home phones with unlimited calling times available. All these things and others, keep us connected to the people we love.
Dictionary.com states that a friend is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter; a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile; a member of the same nation, party, etc.
Friends are the golden threads in the tapestry of life. They bring the color, light and sometimes even life to our lives. Friends tell us what we need to know about ourselves. They encourage us when we are struggling, they lift us when we are low; they tell us how we truly look, in a nice way; and they are always there to listen to our thoughts, concerns and triumphs.

Yesterday was a particularly hard day for me.  Yet, I was surrounded by my friends, my family and people who care about me.  Even those who were far away were praying for us.  I felt the strength that comes from prayers others offered in my behalf.  The day was hard, but the support of my friends made it possible for me to have the strength and the courage I needed.  I will be forever grateful to those beautiful people in my life.

Best of all, friends become a part of our family.  Some, like sisters, are kin by blood and also by friendship. We love them and want to share in their lives too. How blessed we are to have wonderful friends. My mom always told me to be careful who I chose to be my friends. I am glad I followed her counsel. I have the best friends in the world!

How can you share your love with a friend today?

Oh well… (I borrowed this phrase from a very dear friend of mine), I am posting my blog contribution a day late again. Our family has been under siege, as of late, and I promise, promise, promise that after we get through this, things will get better (this phrase is for my sister) and I will be able to post my blog on time. Ha! Ha!

I have been thinking a lot about what I would say today. The words which come into my mind are “thank you.” I cannot think of anything more profound or important to say than “thank you.”
My heart is full to overflowing with gratitude for the love, comfort and help we have been given recently.

As we have gone through this experience, I have been awed and amazed at how many friends we have; amazed at how we can be connected with people from far away, not having kept in daily contact, but still have the same love and attachment that we felt years ago. We are family. We are one, big, gigantic family. We are the family of God.

I hope I remember always that we are brothers and sisters. I actually don’t think I ever forgot it; I just didn’t always pay enough attention to the connection which occurs at each of our births. But now, my eyes are wide open, and I am fully awake. So, I won’t write a long blog. After a while, you will understand our experience because I believe we have to share our experiences with each other so that others can benefit from our mistakes and benefit from the growth we experience as a result of learning from those mistakes.

I also want to express my gratitude for a loving Father in Heaven who takes good care of us. Without Him in my life, I don’t know how I would be able to look forward and keep moving in that direction.

Our family has been strengthened. We have reopened doors wide to reconnect with the people we love. Thank you to each of our family members and friends who have supported and sustained us. You have empowered us to continue and to fight, even when we were too tired to go on. Your encouragement and your love nourish us daily. Thank you.

How can we help to sustain and support you?

Although I am not a person who would ever choose to go back, even if I had the choice, I am grateful for the people who have helped to shape my life and who have taught me, in classes and by their lives, to be a good person.

Even though I don’t want to go back to my childhood, I love to remember. Memories warm my heart. Last week, I began writing this blog. I don’t know why I had Melba R. on my mind, but I did. She was the first teacher I remember who taught me without me knowing that I was being taught. She also influenced my own teaching style as I have taught various classes within my church and when I have been a substitute teacher.

I received a phone call this week from my parents telling me that Greg, Melba’s husband (of probably close to 70 years, I don’t really know) had passed away. I don’t know many details, but I have the email address of their son and I will contact him. An older son is married to my cousin, so we, as I have found so often in life, have many connections to the people who most influence us and change our lives.

Melba R. was my church teacher when I was 14 and 15 years old. Each week, she taught us a well prepared lesson. I looked forward to attending her classes. Even when I was sick, I hated that I had to miss her class. She was very wise. She always brought a picture of a rose for us to color. (It was the symbol of our age group.) I didn’t realize until years later that I learned more from her because she kept my hands busy while she shared her inspirational message. When learning styles became popular, I enjoyed studying how we learn; now I can watch someone or talk to a person for just a few minutes and am able to discern his or her learning style. When she taught us, she just knew it. She didn’t have to study learning styles. She understood what learning styles were, and her goal was to help each young woman in her class to know she was loved and that she could make good decisions that would give her happiness in her life.

She took us to her house and helped us perfect our cooking skills. I remember looking through a stack of music–she allowed me to do that–because I love music. I now have a stack of favorite music of my family sitting by my piano. I loved being with her because I felt the love she had for me. Even now, as I think of her, I have a warm feeling of being loved that fills my heart. My only regret is that I didn’t tell her what an impact she had on my life.

I am a kinesthetic learner. I learn best by doing. And in a traditional classroom situation, I learn best by taking notes or drawing or doing something with my hands. Long before we discovered learning styles, I was captivated and learning lessons I would need in my life because I was coloring a picture every week.

I miss her and think of her often when I am preparing a handout or activity for a class I will teach. I think of her husband playing the organ beautifully. He always wore soft-soled shoes to play.

January is thank you month. To whom will you say “thank you” for influencing your life for good? Thank you, Melba R., for teaching me about love.

Yesterday, I started wearing braces. Now, it is not unusual that adults get braces to straighten their teeth, but I wore braces 37 years ago. This time, I wear braces because we need to place an implant. So, I have decided that since I am getting new teeth, and now braces, I am living proof that a second childhood exists…

There are many advantages to my second childhood. The most obvious is that I have already lived through my first childhood. So, getting braces yesterday was not new to me. Yes, there have been advances in equipment; I watched a video on home care, I have brackets on most of my teeth, to name a few. Only one tooth will be banded, where all my teeth were banded 37 years ago. Basically, I was calm through the whole process. I remember how to use wax, and I was prepared for eating soft foods for a few days. I knew these things from my experience.

My support system is different. I was the oldest child and was first in my family to have braces. Now, I have children who are supportive and who have lived the experiences of braces. Last night, my daughters and I sang at a church meeting. I commented to my orthodontist that I wasn’t sure I timed it right to get my braces put on the afternoon before singing, but I did fine. When I walked into the room at church where the meeting was being held, my three daughters were sitting at a table and said, “Let me see!” So, the ice was broken. I was free to laugh (which we did a lot), and we sang together which is always fun.

My husband, as always, has been great. I love having a cheerleader in my corner. He made chili for me Wednesday night so that I would have soft food. Today, he made me carrot juice. He went with me to the orthodontist and bought me Tylenol on the way home to ease my headache.

My expectations now are based on knowledge. The reason I have braces again is not the same as before. I also have lived with me for a lot longer and know me better. So, I have very realistic expectations. Last night, one of the brackets came off while I was brushing my teeth. I didn’t panic because my doctor had said that this will be a possible problem. I also have learned to deal with the ups and downs of life.

Would I go back and relive my first childhood? No, I think I will stay with this one. The funniest comment came from my husband as we were talking about me writing this blog. He recalled that he knew me when I had braces before, but this time he gets to pay for them.

We have more things to go through until the process of restoration is complete. My second childhood could last for a long, long time. Who knows? Perhaps I will spontaneously break out into song…oh, I already do that. Well, maybe I never left my first childhood.

Have an empowered day realizing the lessons you have learned from your life. How can you share an experience with your family members or a friend to empower their day?

Yesterday, I was helping with a service activity. There were many people who I only knew through service experiences we have shared. We accomplished what we needed to accomplish, and I was waiting for a family member who had a few other things to get done. I was sitting on a sofa in the foyer. A person who had been serving with me stopped to say goodbye. This person took a few steps toward the door, turned around and said: “Do you know that I love you?” It was unexpected, but I replied, “I love you, too.” Then I thought, how kind. How many times do we say “I love you” in a day?

All day long I thought about this little act of kindness which changed how I felt. I wasn’t sad, but all of a sudden, my heart felt a little lighter. I felt more confident, more empowered. I have been pondering how I can express my love more often. And do I tell people I know, not members of my family, that I love them often enough? Do I just assume that they know that I love them? And if we all express our love for each other more often, how will that change the world?

We had a perfect Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we had our family and friends, who really are family, at our home. It was wonderful to be surrounded by peace, love, and the comfort of knowing each other well. Christmas day we had some of our children and grandchildren over and spent a lovely day making gingerbread houses and eating a light meal from the grill (thanks to my sister-in-law Donna who has given me great ideas on many things). While the others watched a movie, my oldest daughter and I played Scrabble. We used up most of the tiles and were spread over most of the board and together we used the remaining tiles so all the letters were used. Her 20 month old son did help us by putting the word “joy” (actually he just put the three letter tiles on the board, he liked the triple word score spaces best and we spelled the word for him). We even took a photograph to save for posterity.

I am not an expert Scrabble player, but together we were a great team. Working together, building our loyalty, our safety and love–these are the qualities we cherish in a family. We plan and work to build these qualities into our lives. We empower our families when we work together.

Hyrum pulled the letters spelling “joy” out of the letter pouch in the scrabble game. Sometimes, joy comes to us when we are spending time with our family and friends. Sometimes, we must work toward a goal to receive joy. Sometimes, our hearts just burst with joy as we celebrate the beauty of our lives.

It is the birth of Him we celebrate at Christmastime who said: “Peace, I leave with you. My peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (King James Version of the Bible). This is our wish for you on Boxing Day, the day after Christmas. May your heart be filled with peace and with joy. May the next year be more peaceful and more joyful than the last. And may your heart be filled with love for others. This is our Christmas wish for you.

How will you prepare for the New Year?