I can’t help but notice the envelope itself. That very piece of paper molded into a pocket for treasure has my name on the front. This means that no one else is legally allowed to read it without my consent. This means that the person writing wanted ME to get something special. This means that what is inside is just especially for ME, Marissa, from someone who cares enough to write and give the cost of a stamp. Yes, I am convinced that good letters from friends are some of the very best things in life and that those special envelopes can make your day. Because what’s inside is just for you…Totally, completely, 100% just for you! Think about it, I sure like too

Are any of these hard for you? I find several experiences difficult to bear. Then, something will happen. A fellow student will organize a study group. Someone will call to check on me. My doorbell will ring & a friend will drop of muffins or a CD to keep me company. Someone will offer support in some way.

How do we live through these moments?  And what do we do with the experience we gain after the moments have passed?  As with the birth of a child, sometimes we are thrown into a new situation (caring for a newborn) following a difficult experience (labor and delivery).  Do we take the time to process each experience to gain the wisdom that is offered?  Do we ponder and reflect so we can see the hand of others and the hand of God in our lives?  I promise you that if you do take a moment of reflection, you will see the support surrounding you, the light within yourself, and the resources to strengthen you.

I remember calling my husband, exasperated, around 2 p.m. some afternoons when our children were young.  I would need a moment to breathe, and the little ones in my care would be yet to nap.  I felt like they were NEVER going to go to sleep.  I know he could hear the desperation in my voice.  He would say these words calmly to me, “They will take a nap.”  His words would pacify me; soon, the children were sleeping soundly. 

Sometimes in situations which may be difficult, whether as short-lived as an afternoon of busy children or as lasting as a prolonged illness, may seem to never end.  They will.  And, if you take a moment to reflect on the love and blessings in your life, your joy will be more lasting than the hard things that are happening to you right now.  I promise.  You will make it! 

Not all days are sunny ones though, and that fact seems tragic to me at times. All I will want to do is go outside but find the rainy weather an automatic turn off of the trip outdoors. Or perhaps I find the forecast to be cloudy or windy or any number of other hindrances of my sunshine enjoyment. It’s those rainy or cloudy or windy days that force me to find some other way to spend my time. Cooped up within the walls of my home I often begin my work with a less enthused attitude. But as time goes on, I find a way to adapt to a new working environment.

Although it is not sunshine, the rain is necessary for things to grow. The water soaks into the soil of plants wishing for nourishment and hydration. Water is wonderful. Rain is wonderful as well and the sooner I appreciate it the better.

So it is with our lives. There will be times of sunshine, when nothing could possibly feel better, as will there be times of rain, forcing us to get comfortable inside. The flow of life and challenges often give us cause to adapt. I’ve been thinking about this lately and have come to the conclusion that, just like plants, we need both sunshine and rain.

So, I practiced breathing. I was hooked up to a monitor to measure muscle responses. As I relaxed into the exercise, we could see the beat pattern of my heart. My breathing was more stable and my heart rate slower as I focused my thinking on the raising and lowering of my stomach as I breathed. Breathing correctly can trigger a relax response in our bodies.

I wanted to share this with you today to benefit you and help you empower your families and friends to relax. Even in stressful times, we can calm our body and therefore keep ourselves healthier.

The first time, it works best to be in a recliner or on a bed. Slowly take in air through your nose. Breathe deeply, watching as your stomach expands. If you have trouble accomplishing this, place a tissue box (or something similar) on your stomach to watch your stomach move up as you inhale and go down as you exhale. Slow your breathing as you relax the muscles in your jaw. A relaxed jaw has the tongue on the roof of the mouth and the teeth are slightly apart (the mouth is closed).

You can breathe this way while sitting in a chair, walking or doing any other activity. I did notice that my headache was worse the first few times I tried this exercise and was told this is normal, but as I continue to practice twice a day, it will improve my health. My favorite place to practice is on my morning walk, outside, surrounded by beautiful trees and usually a blue, blue sky. Try it for yourself.

Aim for a quiet time and breathe deeply for twenty minutes. I feel energized after I practice. I hope you will too. Empower yourself with the breath of life. Just Breathe.

Seriously, though, I was not one who was running very much when I was younger. In fact, I was on my track team in high school–but not for what you would think (running track). In fact, my two events were long jump and high jump (which involve very little running–and not much time of people watching you run, since the focus is on the jump). I had a severe concern about running in front of people.

Where did this fear find its roots? Well, my earliest memory is that someone flippantly remarked to me once–let me repeat that so you understand completely–ONCE–that I looked “funny” when I ran. Ha. Ha. Right?

When I aged a bit, I still would keep from running at all costs. When I exercised, I would go to aerobics classes or weight train so I didn’t have to run. I learned to walk quickly if I need to get somewhere fast–being careful not to break into a full-fledged run. I even wondered, after becoming a mother, if I looked silly running to grab one of my children after an injury or if they were headed for danger. Silly me.

I have begun anew to build my self-awareness–and guess what? I like to run. I would even venture to say that I love to run. I love to feel the air on my face and feel my feet fly beneath me. I love the way I ache the next day after a good run, and I even love the breathless feeling I get sometimes when I run really fast.

This story came up recently when I spoke with my children about the power of their words to each other and the importance of speaking positively. You never know what a flippant remark can do to someone…! And, because I didn’t have the strength then to bear the criticism, I missed years of something that brings me joy…

Thank goodness my brother still updates me on the latest pick-up lines…another aspect of life that I enjoy!!!

On this list was “to order ice cream from an ice cream truck”. This is something I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember. Each day an ice cream truck makes its rounds through my neighborhood and I think about how someday, before I die, I am going to go out there and get some. I’ve gotten close to going out there probably twenty times, but I always seem to let it go through the neighborhood.

Last week I heard that familiar sound of the ice cream truck and thought “today is the day!” Today was the day for me to live my dream and do something I’ve always wanted to do. I got up and went out the door, flagged down the ice cream truck and bought ice cream. It was amazing!! I could taste my dream coming true…quite literally.

So today really is the day for you to live your dreams. Whether large or small, it’s time to take those steps out to the ice cream truck and live the life you’ve always wanted. You can do it!

Sometimes, not often enough, we reflect upon the good things
And our thoughts always center around those we love.
And I think about the people who mean so much to me
And for so many years have made me so very happy.
And I count the times I have forgotten to say “thank you”
And just how much I love them.

I sing this song in my mind, and I think about how important it is to express my love and my gratitude to those I care for deeply. I feel the need to express myself in varying modes. Sometimes, I write a love note; sometimes I express my thanks by a telephone call. I use whatever vehicle strikes my mood and circumstances at the moment (though my father-in-law always preferred the written word so that he could read it again and again). Sometimes I share my love and thanks by a glance, a hug, or through singing to those I love. What about you?

I have found that when I decide to share love with others, I find myriad opportunities to do so! Will you join me? Will you decide to make a concerted effort to express love and thanks to each member of your family during each week? And, what will you do to share your love with others this week? Expressing love and gratitude increases our love for each other.

1.  What kind of time have you spent considering what is written on your heart?    a.  Days      b. Minutes    c. Hours    d. Seconds    e. Not even a moment

Okay, what was your answer?  (This question is meant to be part of the discussion and not part of the quiz, mind you!)  And I’m not talking about flippant desires, either, such as, “I want a Like It with sweet cream ice cream with Reese’s mixed in from Coldstone!” or “I’d like to have a housekeeper & chef to take care of my house & meals so I can spend more time enjoying my children/hobbies/connections/fill-in-the-blank…!”

Do you know what is written on your heart? Life is full of surprises–and yet, we can still keep our eyes on goals which lead us to the desires of our hearts.

When I was in college, a friend asked me about some goals I wanted to accomplish. I numbered several writing endeavors on the fingers of my hand as we sat among art projects, and then we went back to work.  That moment has replayed in my mind on several occasions since.  I feel driven to do the work that I discussed with her that day.  Since that day, too, I have married an amazing husband, given life to a handful-plus of amazing children, and fulfilled some of the other work that has been written on my heart for as long as I can remember.

Still, I reflect on the writing projects.  I work on them (though not at the expense of my family…and dishes…and laundry….and cooking–those items can’t wait until we get that housekeeper/chef!).  And I have picked up a few more projects since then that are written on my heart–such as supporting women and marriages and families through MPower Generations.  This project, too, is written on my heart.

So, what about you?  Will you take a few moments to reflect on the wonderful accomplishments you have achieved thusfar which have been a part of you and welcome the new opportunities before you to discover the language written on your heart?  You’ll be happy you did…

So often we hear the coined phrase: be the bigger person. Usually what warrants this often unwanted advice is some kind of an unfortunate experience that reaps a difficult choice. Someone does something to you that is not what you want in any way shape or form. Often times this same action repeats itself over and over until finally the last straw is pulled and the only possible resolution seems to be seeking revenge. When discussing the revenge options, which for me usually occurs by fuming all the aggravating details to a friend, they usually want me to “be the bigger person.” It’s not worth it to even fight with the antagonist, express your personal feeling about what’s going on, so really you should just let it go and forget about what happened. That’s often the message I receive from someone else, or because it has happened repeatedly, from my own mind before I even ask another person.

A few weeks ago this scenario was playing out in—as usual—a very annoying and hurtful way. Someone wanted me to do something, I agreed. The plans changed and I didn’t do anything to tell them that it really bothered me so I could be the “bigger person.” Making sacrifices in my own schedule, going out of my way to do what was important to them, the plans changed again. Frustrated, ready to call it all off, I let them take control of me again, for the third time, and had a miserable experience. Never did I tell them that it bothered me, never did I take care of myself in the situation because I thought I was being “nice.”

I think perhaps, it would have been better for me to say something at the first offense. I could have explained to this person that it was not alright with me to be treated that way. Before feeling the need to seek out revenge, I could have nipped this issue in the bud. I could have avoided a lot of unnecessary anger if I would have taken care of myself in a way that didn’t hurt me or the other person early on in the situation.

What I learned by this experience is that you don’t have to hurt yourself for the sake of being the bigger person, or even for the sake of being nice. If someone is bothering you don’t just stand by letting them control your life. If that is how to be the bigger person I must be a giant by now. Like Gulliver, in the classic tale of Gulliver’s Travels, becoming a giant in this sense will only get you attacked by tiny antagonists until they break you. My thoughts instead are to do what’s right for you whether that means being the bigger person or eating one of Alice in Wonderland’s magic shrinking cookies. Most of all, take care of you, and instead of revenge or being trampled, say what you need to say in a positive and effective—even a nice way.

How often do I tell myself that I am the best, the best “me” I can be? How often do you tell yourself that statement? Perhaps, we need to say it a lot more.

I just love some of the programs on the history channel (please, do not share this with my husband because I will have to watch it even more.) We recently watched a program on the brain. It was amazing. They talked of a study, which I will share more with you in a future blog, with navy seals. The thoughts that we tell ourselves, whether negative or positive, greatly influence the choices we make. The seals using positive self talk were able to accomplish more of the goals of the program.

How often do we sabotage ourselves by using negative self-talk? I think it happens far too much. So, beginning today, can we change the world, at least in our own sphere of influence? Can we pay attention to those thoughts we speak about ourselves and make sure that they are positive? Can we help others to speak positively about himself or herself? Will you join me? If we do this, we will find that we have more peace and happiness in our lives.

So, I say to you “You’re the Best.” Do something to celebrate the wonder of you today.