Jan 10
20
Gahhhhhhh!
My life, as you know from previous blogs, has been highly stressful and hectic lately. In fact, the reason–not that it’s valid–why I didn’t write my blog last week was because of the pure “hecticness” I have been experiencing.
I woke up around 6 am to head down to my 7:30 MRI more than half an hour away from my house. I laid there listening to Taylor Swift music blasting in my ears to offset the noise of the machine for about half an hour. Upon returning home, I got together my supplies to write a reply to a friend’s letter. I got about as far as their name on the paper before realizing it was already time to get ready to go work at the athletic training room.
I dashed to put my uniform on and get together all my stuff then worked for about 7 hours. I was ready to take a hot shower and climb in bed, being exhausted from all the running about, when I learned I was to go with my brother to church and then stop by my sister’s house to practice a song we were singing the following night.
I was worn out beyond belief! When I finally did get that shower and went to bed, you can guess: all my blogging time had vanished. My point in telling you all this is to, one, apologize and to, two, illustrate what has been the constant fast-paced race I’ve been running for days. It’s barely stopped and I know it won’t until at least next Wednesday…the day when I am planning on going in for my third knee surgery. Then all this craziness will take a sudden halt where I am, as I put it, doomed to a couch for a few weeks until I can move around without crutches again. My doctors are moving bones and putting them where they should have been aligned when I was born. This surgery will hopefully heal me from the problems I’ve been dealing with for quite some time. As crazy and hard as it has been for me to get everything ready for the weeks when I won’t be able to live my usual life, a few things have really helped to keep the endurance going–for that has been a challenge. Sometimes I just want to give up, call the whole thing off. It’s so tempting for me to ignore the issues I have and move on with my life as if they are not there. That would be the easy way, not necessarily the right way. I’ve gotta figure out the best thing for me and go with it. The thing that gets to me most would have to be how much I know I’m going to miss this busy, wonderful life of mine when I’m on a slower, recovery-centered time. I take all these moments that I have and breathe them in, feeling them, experiencing them, loving them. Even the things that are difficult I find myself thankful for. It could be wiping off a table or folding laundry and I find myself appreciating wholeheartedly the ability I have to stand on two legs and do them. I haven’t been taking much for granted because I know deep inside me that they will not last forever. What has provoked that for me is having surgery and knowing that soon I won’t have both legs to stand on. Now one of the greatest things is that with time I will have both my legs back in full capacity; there is always a silver lining…
But seriously, I have learned a new level of appreciation for the things in my life which I hold dear, and even some of the things that I don’t. I know that each challenge comes with something good to get out of it.
