Bloggg

So, yesterday I didn’t write my blog like I usually do on Wednesday. It wasn’t that I didn’t try. In fact I had been trying for two days to think of something worth writing in a blog, but the words simply didn’t come.

I couldn’t think of anything inspiring to share with you or words that would give you solace in a challenging time. The reason for this is that over the last week or so my life has been taking unexpected, devastating falls bringing me deeper and deeper into the pit of despair that has temporarily become my life. Not fun. Some difficult news came last Tuesday that made my complicated and stressful life more complicated and stressful. As hard to swallow as that news was, I made an effort to keep things level headed without any kind of significant break down over the holidays, and basically succeeded. I did my best to not let it take over, even though it was resting heavily on my mind. That was a good thing. The holidays were wonderful and I was thankfully able to enjoy them despite the struggles.

Last Saturday meant a dive back into reality for me as I started to gather more details that needed to go into the mix for my difficult decisions ahead. As I was coping with that, some even more-totally unrelated-news came on Monday that made matters worse bringing me into some of the most difficult of times I’ve faced. All I could seem to think about was the horrible situation that I had been placed in almost completely out of my control. That was why I didn’t have anything to say. My world was colored by tragedy and dismay to the point that everything seemed totally awful. Even the good things in life seemed insignificant in comparison to the devastation.

I hate being in that place where everything seems bad and rotten. So this morning I woke up and decided to bring the levels of negativity down. I had to choose not to let this devastation take over every waking minute of my life anymore. Yes, my challenges are still totally present in my life. However, there is a time and a place for them which doesn’t need to be dominating my life for more than a couple of days.

So for you and for me there is only so much time we can spend in agony before we pick ourselves up again. We cannot spend every day complaining over the misfortunes of our lives for they will be easily found as long as we live. Some things are harder to deal with than others and for those things we must allow ourselves time to heal. Something I am working hard to learn how to do is let things be what they are, especially the things that are out of my control.