There is a song in the musical Wicked called “For Good,” where Elphaba (the “Wicked Witch of the West”) and Glinda, who are friends about to part from one another, sing about how each has changed the other’s life.  During the lead-in portion of the song, Elphaba says to Glinda, “So now it’s up to you,” basically to do what is left that Elphaba can’t stay to finish.  That “up to you” part really struck a chord, as I’ve been pondering responsibility over the past few days. 

Ah, responsibility — that thing that says you’re actually supposed to do what you have to do . . . which isn’t always a whole lot of fun.  We have responsibilities to ourselves, like taking care of our bodies, minds, and spirits; and we have responsibilities to others, like being honest and dependable. 

Well, what do we do with these crazy little things called responsibilities?  Sometimes we shirk them (note:  this is not a good idea should you wish to keep your friends ).  Sometimes we take on too many.  And sometimes the responsibilities that are really ours just tower over us like big, black, hairy, scary monsters (it is Halloween, after all).

But . . . back to the song.  When Elphaba tells Glinda that “it’s up to [her],” she’s saying that she’s depending on Glinda.  She trusts her.  And, like Elphaba depends on Glinda, we have people depending on us — people we haven’t even met yet, in some cases.  We make choices every day that impact us, that change who we are.  And when those positive changes enable us to help more people become better, we are empowered.

As women, as mothers, and as individuals, we seek to empower the generations that follow us.  That starts with empowering ourselves.  So my challenge to you is to see your responsibilities not as giant, ugly monsters, but as opportunities to become a more powerful person, who is better able to serve and empower others.  Try it for a day, or a week, or a month, or whatever works.  Then shoot me a comment and let me know how it goes!  I’d love to hear about your experiences!

As a young mother, I met Jane Opsahl. Jane and Bob were friends with my parents. Bob was an architect, and my father was a contractor. I instantly loved Jane and Bob. Jane was a lovely, charming, very southern lady, and I always was happy to be with her.

She loved my children, was interested in them, and treated them as if they were her grandchildren. Jane developed breast cancer before she and Bob were married. He let her know that he loved her, and they were married. Years later, her cancer recurred. Bob, as always, was supportive as they tried many different experimental and natural treatments. 

When Jane went into the hospital at the end of her life, my children were in preschool and kindergarten. I would drop them off and go to the hospital. We visited, and she told us what she wanted for her funeral. We helped bathe her and love her–and yet, she was the brave one who helped us understand that she knew she was loved by God.

Jane taught me that we should live our lives to the fullest. She was a gracious hostess, a lovely guest, and was inspiring to us all. I watched as Bob showed her the greatest love and respect;  watching their love grow, even under the most difficult of circumstances, teaches me still how to relate to my family. Breast cancer may have taken her away from us physically, but she still lives in our hearts.  Her legacy is wrapped in all of us she touched in her life. 

Do you have a memory of a loved one you would like to share with us today?

While watching the ending of a Major League Baseball game I noticed something I hadn’t seen before now.  Growing up, I hadn’t watched many baseball games on TV so I wasn’t familiar with the way things wrap up.  Concluding the final strike there was a great excitement coming from the winning team heading in from the outfield.  Camera footage was just close enough that I could see some of the interaction between the players.  Glee shone brightly on their faces.  They had sailed into a beautiful victory they had worked hard to earn.  Excellent sportsmanship was clear as they high fived each other and walked back together.  I loved watching the pride in their eyes and made up in my head what they might have been saying to one another:

“Great hit man!”

“That was the best throw I’ve seen from you this season.” 

“We did it!”  

There is such a sense of belonging that comes from being part of a team that always amazes and impresses me.  They support each other, they care about each other, and when someone goes down they are all there to help pick their teammate up.

When do we care for others this way?  Do we show this love for the people we care about?  I believe that there is a special bond between those we love and those who love us.  In our families, in our classes, in our churches, and in our communities there are people to care for–all around us.  Do we show care like those players did on the field?

The following blog is by an amazing woman, Donna Satterlee Ross.  I cannot say enough about Donna, for she is a wonderful friend, super mother to three precious people, dazzling wife to her husband, and a great writer.  She recently co-authored a book regarding autism.  We are so happy to have her perspective as a part of our blog.  Enjoy!!

Every morning I go to the gym and workout. First I do a 30 minute cardio workout to increase the ability of my heart to work properly. After that I do some strength training using weight machines. For the most effective workout, you load your weights so that near the end you are almost at the point of failure. From what I understand, in order for muscle to be built, it has to be pushed past its normal limitations. Lifting weights basically tears muscle fibers. These fibers then heal back together stronger and larger than before being torn. Lifting weights is a lot like motherhood. We stretch ourselves to the limit: whether it be giving our time or sacrificing our own desires or personal freedom to try to help our children become happy, productive members of society. We often feel that we are failing (or very close to it). Then our children hit a milestone, display a new skill we have been working with them on, or reach a goal, and we feel stronger and enriched for it. We are amazed at what they accomplish and what we have accomplished in the process. We delight in their progress. We dig in our heals and try to achieve the next level, whatever that may be. You can do it!

So, I have spent a significant part of my life dodging certain situations, trying to figure out how to minimize my mistakes and play up my successes.  Do we all do this at one time or another?  I don’t know.  Lately, though, I have taken a different approach.  I noticed the fruits of this process just the other day when I saw my sweet neighbor whom I will call Claudia.  “Claudia” and I often walk in the evenings for stress relief (and, yes, I will admit exercise).  She will call a bit before bedtime and ask, “So, do you think you can walk tonight?”  My responses vary by degree of stress in my life, the activities of the evening, or the rate at which my children drift into blessed slumberings.

So, the call came, and I am sure I could’ve used the walk.  Trevor was out for a few minutes, but I expected him back soon and promised to call her.  Well, he came home, we did internet research, put fussy little ones to sleep, and chatted.  10:45 p.m. came, and I gasped.  I had forgotten Claudia.  Oh, no.  What to do?  Do I send her a quick apology text?  Do I just ignore the whole scenario?  (I sadly must admit that the latter would’ve been my option of choice even just a few years ago…and even now days come and go when I still feel this way…ugh!)

I drove our children to school the next day, and who was on the sidewalk as we walked up toward my twins’ classroom?  Yep, it was Claudia.  I came up behind her, tagged her arm, and immediately blurted out a sincere apology (I totally forgot!!!).  Come to find out, she had worked on organizing something…and had totally crashed herself.  No worries.  Often people in New Zealand use this expression–”no worries”– and adopt its philosophy; my husband lived there for two years, and he has certainly reaped blessings for bringing this positive outlook back to his life in the States. 

Well, I could’ve run away, avoided her, continued to feel badly, etc.–but I faced the fury (which was really nonexistent except within my mind) and confessed:  I forgot.  No worries. 

I can be wrong, or mess up, or whatever.  Or I can face my mistakes and reach out to those whom I might have offended.  Most often I find forgiveness and much less stress when I address the issue instead of run from people.  How about you?

I love, love, LOVE Michael Buble, and just downloaded his song “Haven’t Met You Yet.”  Basically, the song is about how wonderful love can be with the right person…once you find them.  Since, as you may have noticed, I like to apply little mini-experiences to life as a whole, I got to thinking about all the things in life that we wait for — the things that will be absolutely amazing once they happen, but when they happen isn’t entirely up to us.

The med school application process is, obviously, on my mind a lot.  My applications have been sent off, my transcripts have been received…and now all I can do is wait.  There is nothing I can do to accelerate the process, or determine which schools will accept me.  I have done everything  I can do up to this point.  And it’s a little frustrating, because everything is completely out of my hands, and I can’t do anything about it!

Ok, so that’s not exactly true; I can choose to wait patiently.  As I used to say about my MCAT scores, the outcome is the outcome, and it happens when it happens, whether I stress about it or not.  So I will save myself the stomach ulcers, thank you very much, and wait it out stress-free.  (Yeah, right.  But I will try )

A few years ago, my husband bought a sign for the front door that says: “The witch is” and then you can choose from “in” or “out.” I love it! We learn from The Wizard of Oz that there are good witches. So, I decided that I am the witch and the sign indicates if I am in or out of the house.  Most of the time, I adjust it when I am coming or going. On days when I need a little lift, I am particular to turn the sign.

As I go into my house after turning the sign, I think about how warm and cozy I feel at home. My family is here. We love each other. We support each other. We stand together when life is hard. The floorplan is not ideal. The house is old, but when I cross that threshold and I am “in” there is magic in the air.

What is the magic in your life? Please share it with us.

I love being a grandmother. Today my 18 month old grandson called. Let me tell you the story. This morning, he had to have a medical test. When his mom and dad dropped by the office, I went outside to see him and he was sleeping peacefully, so I didn’t disturb him.

I later called his dad and asked him to pick up something from my house and bring it to me at the office. When his dad left, our grandson asked his mom where dad was going. She said, “he’s going to Mormor’s and then to work.” Later, I received a phone call at work. Karin said that our grandson said “Mormor, Mormor” and his mom explained that Mormor was at work. So he brought her the phone and said, “call…call Mormor.” His mom called to explain, and I talked to him on the phone. He said a few words, then “bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye” and hung up the phone. I smiled. He made my day. 

What a wonderful gift to be loved by a child. They accept you and love you just as you are. They make your days happy. Yes, children require a lot of work. But, at the end of your day, your heart is full as you think of your family and the gift that they are.

What stories can you share with us about your children, grandchildren, neices, nephews? How does your family show love?

Sometimes we walk through our general daily routines with dread and despair. Other times we see with beauty the world around us. I often wonder what it is that determines the many changes in our lives.

Perhaps it has to do with the time we give to ourselves. It may be watching your favorite movie or spending time with someone you love. It may be a walk outside, or catching up on your laundry. It could even be finishing a put off project or doing your hair a special way. All these things that feel good to you can give you a certain energy that can help in the hectic moments that are sure to come.

My message for you today is do something that feels good to YOU. It is likely to brighten your day and relieve some of your stress. What time will you give to yourself today?

Have you ever felt really, really amazing when you finished something?

In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy states what traits he thinks truly “acccomplished” women possess.  Some items on the list include knowledge of singing, dancing, drawing, and the modern languages (among other things); Lizzie (the story’s protagonist) replies that such requirements for accomplishment are, well…a little bit ridiculous.

As a person who feels accomplished when I open the pickle jar by myself, I definitely agree with Lizzie on this one.  Much bigger accomplishments–say, like, submitting my applications for medical school–warrant nothing less than celebration.  I felt SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME when I had completed this step on my journey towards doctor-hood (that’s a technical term, of course).  We turned on a fun movie to watch that night, and my dad took me out to breakfast the next morning.  It was great. 

When I do succeed in opening the aforementioned pickle jar, or getting my hairstyle just right, or submitting my applications for medical school, my characteristic response is an exclaimed “YES!”, usually followed by a happy dance, all the while feeling absolutely fabulo-tastic about myself.

No matter who you are, you are accomplishing things every day–big things, little things, medium-sized things.  But what makes you feel accomplished?  And what do you do to celebrate your utter amazingness?